My Family, A Symphony: A memoir of global adoption by Aaron Eske

Here's one more entry in my never ending fascination with adoption memoir.  I spied this one on the table at  my local bookstore just before Christmas and lo and behold, Santa brought it for me.  Thanks Santa!

Mr. Eske writes this memoir at age 25.  Although his story is compelling, it felt like it could have gelled a few more years.  I never thought I would say this but 25 is far too young to write a memoir.  The book tries to do too much in a relatively short space.  My family, A Symphony is part adoption history (interesting), part global economic theory that leads to a the phenomenon of orphans in developing countries, Eske's own story of being the biological child of parents who went on to adopt 4 orphans from India and Korea, and a travel memoir as he sets about traveling the globe to visit his siblings' origins.  Got all that?

Although it is an interesting entry in the adoption memoir canon, and does have some really lovely moments, it felt largely thin and in need of so much extra story.  I really wanted to read so much more about his family as it was forming.  What were his siblings thinking and feeling as they came of age in that household?  His older siblings must have registered some immediate response to being moved from a life of poverty to a life of family and the riches of America, I would like to know more about those moments?  I felt that his own story, while interesting, was missing many  angles and details.  It was like being invited to a sumptuous buffet and being offered only some cheese and crackers.  Good cheese and crackers, but I knew there was so much more out there.

As someone who has been part of an international adoption myself, I was particularly interested in the works of Holt International and how they began the modern international adoption movement.  His stories of Grandma Holt and her eight Korean adoptions has lead me wanting to read her biography.  Also, his own travel memoir felt slightly abbreviated as well.  Again, I felt like it was just skimming the surface of what could be a fascinating travel story.

I will look forward to reading Aaron's next book and perhaps each of his siblings' books as well.

When Wanderers Cease to Roam: A Traveler's Journal of Staying Put by Vivian Swift

So here's this little gem of a memoir that I stumbled upon at a sale at my local bookstore.  It turns the concept of the traditional chronological memoir on its head by offering a kind of kaleidoscope of memories from the writer's past traveling life and her present staying put life.

She observes the seasons of her life month my month and each month she offers a wide array of watercolor paintings of her world plus observations about her town and her present life but then she writes what she calls micro-memoirs about her years of travel:  birthday memories, husbands and fiances, adventures in exotic locations, danger while traveling.

Each month is loosely thematic like March is tea month and November is good-bye month.  The whole book read like a poem.  It was peppered with quotes and ticket stubs and cats and odd people she met. I loved the drawing of the dozens of odd lost mittens that she had found in her town.

It conveyed warmth and sentimentality and a life really well lived.  It is possible to write an interesting memoir if you have a regular life and don't star in a movie or have some terrible disease.

This book reads quickly and it becomes a kind of almanac:  a book I could leave on my bed table and refer to again and again.  For this reason it is not a great book to check out of the library.  It is charming and worthy of an afternoon and a cup of tea especially if you are looking for ideas and inspiration and another way of telling a true story.

Bill Bryson Love!

I had heard great things about Bill Bryson but he seemed like one of those writers that looked good but was always second or third on my list.  I heard him interviewed on NPR a few months ago about his latest book At Home: A Short History of Private Life, and I decided it was time to tune in to Bill.

Bill Bryson is probably most well known for his travel memoirs like In a Sunburned Country and A Walk in the Woods which I have meant to read but never had the time.  Over my winter holiday I made time for this most recent book and enjoyed all of it.  He contends that we write history books over  monumental wars, elections and discoveries but really everything settles to what happens in the home.  He answers the questions behind the big question: how did our modern homes become the way they are?  Why do we sleep on beds?  Why do we put salt and pepper on our tables?  What are buildings made of and why?  What is the history of bathing?  He explores critters that live in homes, the history of childhood, gardening, servants and historic preservation.  It all comes together beautifully and is really very interesting and oh so readable. I am sorry I put him off  for so long.

I have put two more of his books on my list and would be interested to know if you have any favorite Bill Bryson books? Which one should I read next?

Being Grateful for a New Year

I received the book 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life by John Kralik  just a week or so after Thanksgiving.  In this year in which I have been counting my blessings daily, it seemed a very apt and profound memoir.  Mr. Kralik writes a very earnest account of his life which was sinking to new lows every day:  two marriages gone, rocky relationships with his kids, girlfriend left him, failing business and a pending lawsuit.  In the midst of his despair one New Years day he makes a commitment to be grateful for what he has and resolves to write a thank you note (a real hand written note put in and envelope with a stamp and an address) to someone every day.  Thus 2008 unfolds for Kralik as a drama of turning your life around by the simple act of of being thankful.  


I loved some of the simple observations he made.  For example, when Kralik traveled he took the time to learn people's names so he could thank them later.  He observed that he couldn't change the behavior of his clients who did not pay their bills but he could thank the ones who did and be grateful.  Even though it is an easy lesson, I am still amazed by what a hard time most of us have learning it.   It took Kralik the physical act of writing a note every day to help him remember all that is good in his life. 


There is nothing earth shattering here, and all the lessons are applicable to all of us. It should inspire people to consider their many blessings even in the bleak midwinter.   What do you have to be thankful for and how can you show that during this year?  Maybe we could all write about about how gratefulness  can turn our lives around. 


Happy 2011 to my readers near and far. I'll look forward to hearing about your next 365 days of blessings.  Keep in touch.

A Reader's Holiday Gift Guide

I don't have specific books to recommend this year (other that the ones I have blogged about in 2010) but I wanted to give some thought to gifts that you might give to a reader or that a reader might like to get.  Your favorite book is always a thoughtful gift--I think it is even okay to re-gift a book or read a book you are giving first.  Here are a few favorite things and websites to give you other ideas.

• My favorite reading related charity is called Room to Read.  These people take schools and books and libraries to developing countries.  Consider a donation to these amazing people in someone else's name.
• My writing group is called Women Writing for (a) Change-Bloomington.  If you know of someone who would benefit from writing in a conscious community consider getting her a gift certificate to one of these classes.  The group runs programs for girls and teens and could always use scholarship money for young women who would like to attend but can't afford it.  We also do outreach to women in the local jail so a donation to WWf(a)C would help offset the expenses of this program.  WWfaC has programs in Birmingham, Ala., Burlington, VT, Grand Junction, Colo., Indianapolis, Cincinnati and Louisville.
• Ever heard of NANOWRIMO? I've been excusing myself for the past few years.  Lots of good reasons why, but I still love the program and love how they encourage writing.  Consider a gift from their way cool on-line gift store.
• How about a poem?  For your friend that has everything or if you yourself are looking for many gifts and can afford few try giving the perfect poem. There is one for every person and every occasion.  Try the Poetry Foundation's way cool poetry tool and check out this audio site of emerging poets.
• Or how about the gift of poetry to students?
• I've not read this book but am enjoying the website that launched the book.  Is someone you know interested in awesome things?  Better yet, make a list of your own awesome things and give the list as a gift.
• Consider a gift or purchase from Half the Sky Foundation: an organization dedicated to helping orphans in China.
• Organize a group (or go solo) to a Messiah Sing in your community.  I just googled those words and trust me when I say there is one about everywhere in the country.  The chance to sing (or just listen) to beautiful music is one of the rare non-commercial opportunities of the holiday season.  In Bloomington the price of admission is canned food for our food bank.  Take someone who could use a lift.
• Buy local!  Craft fairs, tickets to sports or theatre, gift cards to small local shops and restaurants, memberships to local museums and history centers.

Okay readers, what are your favorite gifts for readers?  Writers?  Anyone?  I would love to hear from you.

Happy Holidays from Esmerelda's Bookthing.  I'll be back after the New Year with more reading and writing fun!  

It Gets Better

You've probably seen at least one video from the series, It Gets Better, that is being promoted by Dan Savage (syndicated advice columnist) to help gay youth realize that life gets better after high school.  His videos are a response to the recent well publicized gay teen suicides which largely came as a result of bullying. I have watched many of these with fascination and even shed a few tears.

I began reading a great memoir this week called Where's my Wand?  by Eric Poole. He writes a great coming of age story about a young boy beginning to understand his own sexual identity.  The writer recounts scenes from his life that are quite funny and full of heartache.  The thread that begins to tie them all together and becomes more and more prominent as the stories continue is the role of magic in his life.  He conjures images which are solutions to his troubles which may or may not work.  He puzzles over what works and what doesn't.  His magic becomes his line to God and he begins to question God when the magic ceases to work.  The end of this memoir is quite worth the whole book. The magic and the understanding of his life and his parents love for him all come together at the end in a very magical and important scene.  It got a lot better for Eric Poole and this book prompted me to think of other similarly themed memoirs I have read.


One of the most riveting tales I ever read was by Paul Monette who won The National Book Award for Becoming a Man. It has been more than 15 years since I read this book, so all I have left are my impressions. I remember that getting a glimpse into one person's grappling with these issues was so interesting that it prompted me to steal the book from the Bed and Breakfast in which I was staying.  This book was full of Monette's early sexual adventures and is incredibly painful to read.  Monette's anger is palpable.  Becoming a Man was the memoir that set the stage for all future coming of age tales.  Sadly, Mr. Monette died in 1995 of complications related to AIDS.

Two prominent gay artists have written books about adding children to their families.  BD Wong wrote Following Foo the story of how he and his partner hired a surrogate who gave birth to a child who was biologically his and his partners.  Wong adopted a series of emails he had written to friends and family following the birth of their child into this beautiful memoir.  (A subtle reminder that everything we write counts!)

I first became acquainted with Dan Savage when I read The Kid, his story of his and his partner's adoption of  DJ through the open adoption laws of the state of Oregon.  In his own It Gets Better video, Dan shows pictures of a growing DJ and tells stories about their family life.  The Kid tells the beginning of the story.  Again, I read it many years ago, but I remember the book as being cute, sweet, and compelling reading.  The two gay fathers have just as much worry and parental angst as any straight parents would have.

Memoir of a Beautiful Boy, by Robert LeLeux charmed me.  LeLeux recounts the antics of his mother who is out to become beautiful again in time to snag another man after Le Leux's father leaves the family.  I remember it all seemed very antic and very full of Texas wit and a memorable mother and son relationship.  LeLeux comes out late in the book and the reader rejoices with him as he finds his true love.  This was a funny fast read, and when Robert meets his true love and settles into what his life is supposed to be about, you know it got a lot better.

Last, but not least, one of my favorite memoirs is Travels with Lizbeth.  The story of Lars Eighner as he finds himself homeless and doesn't want to part with his beloved dog Lizbeth.  I'm not really fond of animal stories so I stared at it on the shelf for years until a friend prompted me to read it.  For Lars and Lizbeth, life was bittersweet but they had each other.  The writing was lovely and I fell in love with both writer and dog and cheered for them at the end.


Please consider this my personal contribution to the It Gets Better campaign. If you are out there, check out these funny, interesting, haunting and candid books about parenthood,  coming of age, homelessness, and coming to understand your own identity.  These true stories are proof also that it gets better.  Much better. All are available at the public library.

I would love to hear other reader recommendations on this topic.

Motherland by Fern Schumer Chapman

At it's heart, this book by a Holocaust survivor's daughter, is a love letter from daughter to mother.  In 1990 Fern and her mother Edith, make a trip back to Edith's hometown in Germany.  The time has come for Edith to visit the past from which she was cut off 50 years before when her Jewish parents sent her to live with relatives in Chicago. The horrors being heaped upon Jewish citizens were growing every day.

The bulk of this memoir is the story of this trip and the memories that Edith relives by setting foot in her village.  This book is a powerful testament to memory and how we care for and shape our memories as we age.  Edith visits her family home and picks up dirt off the basement floor as she is overcome with thoughts of her past.  She visits an odd museum where she swears she sees some of her family's possessions including her school satchel.  These scenes filled me with sadness for Edith, long parted from her family.

Daughter Fern spent her life never really knowing her mother Edith.  Edith could never share with Fern her sorrows and her regrets. Fern never knew any of her mother's childhood or memories of life in Germany.

So there they were togther, building bonds about the past. Edith and Fern learned about all that had happened to Edith's parents after she was shipped from Germany to the USA.  Everything they see and do in Germany feels meaningful and filled with great sorrow.  Toward the end of their trip they hear a confession of a man who treated her family poorly. They meet an old family friend who was filled with vitriol and unhappiness of the time during the war.  Where Edith had shut off the past totally, Mina had lived in the past constantly.  The contrast between the two old friends couldn't have been more stark. 

I loved this story.  Every situation pulsed with meaning and reader's will have a richer understanding of the role that memories can play in all our lives.  It felt like Fern and Edith were solving a real life mystery that involved cemeteries and old photographs and haunting times.  Without spoiling too much, as a reader will want to let this interesting trip unfold to them without knowing much in advance, there is a conversation between Fern and her mother on the last night of the trip which changes the way Fern sees her mother after all these years.  It involves Edith's description of being placed on the boat to America and saying good-bye to her parents forvever. It broke my heart.

The writing was excellent and the story sweet and sad. I highly recommend it.